insecurities of a starfish

happy birthday harry potter
happy birthday neville longbottom
happy birthday J.K Rowling !!

yay(:
my dog's a silly billy dog
went to guard my neighbour's front door yesterday
by running across the currently non existence fence
and into their house
and out their front door. /:
and he got stuck.
we had to let him out. (:

footprints in the sand Saturday, July 31, 2004

days fly by
and i cant hold on to them tight
i just have to be pushed along by the flow
trying
fighting with all my might
to embrace each moment
and to cherish all that i have.
i cant seem to find time to be myself anymore
my mind is flooded with thoughts
and theres no chance to take a second breath
so much that i've forgotten all about you and me.
i cant find a reason to go on
all that im living for is so superficial
unreal
when am i going to be untangled from this hassle
and cut the strings that chain me down
how long is it going to be
before i find myself
and till i can soar like i used to
once upon a time.

footprints in the sand Friday, July 30, 2004

no more tests this week!!!
and st nicks double champ!!
yay!!! (:
happy happy.
yesterday came home frm track and field finals drained..
fell asleep at 9.30pm. (:
it was great sleep and today im super refreshed and energetic
battery full!

footprints in the sand Thursday, July 29, 2004

calling all fellow jepengas :
all those for setting up a clique blog
tag aye !
when we find the time of course
and all must promise to blog in stuff once in a while (:

footprints in the sand Tuesday, July 27, 2004

i'm proud of myself!!!! (:
i made good progress in art today
and went home with work!!
yay.
the last 26 days will stand!

footprints in the sand Monday, July 26, 2004

my piggy fish is sick!!!
so is my fighthing fishie
and the other red goldfishie whose name i forgot
oh mann. ):
any fishie advice??

footprints in the sand Sunday, July 25, 2004

talk to me
that's what my love is here for
can't stand to see
those tears in your eyes
i'll do anything its takes you make it right
should i hold you close or set you free to fly?
baby
talk to me
even if it's just to say good-bye

smash - talk to me

footprints in the sand

when are we gonna stand up as people

realise that people were all equal

we dont want no world war sequel

for the love of the god think of the people

contributed by louie

i'm leaving it all in your hands

everything i have

i give it to you

for you will make the right choice

do what is perfect for me

cos you know best.

i just pray that there would be a chance

but even if there isnt one

i know there are bigger plans out there

just for me. (:

i've decided to be a good girl

and focus more on my studies

turn all my excess energy into brain power

it's time i started anywayy. (:

footprints in the sand

where would we be..
if there werent friends to share our pain
to lift our spirits
to wipe away our tears
and to light up the snuffed out candle of our lives.

i love my fuzzy wuzzy friends! (:

footprints in the sand Saturday, July 24, 2004

household apparatus ?!!
that must have been one of my worse orals ever
with mrs xoxo looking down at me down her hooked nose
scrutinizing me
and giving her trademark smiles
oh man.
i felt like i was an exhibit /:
talked plenty of rubbish
including household apparatus
its appliances for heaven's sake.

footprints in the sand

Recipe for a warm and fuzzy tocks!
Serves 100 and 1

x. 1 large portion of jepenga
x. 2 hours long of online chatting
x. 3 pages filled with doodlings
x. 4 cups of diligence
x. 5 boxes full of chocolate and candy-floss
x. 6 ounces of harry potter
x. 7 days of sunshine
x. 8 koala bear hugs a day!
x. 9 buckets of lady star of the sea
x. 10 handfuls of twinkling stars

x. Blend all ingredients together with plently of laughter and smiles
x. Serve with a big hug (:

stolen frm jan!

footprints in the sand Wednesday, July 21, 2004

In the arms of an Angel,
fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel;
may you find some comfort here

sarah mclachlan - in the arms of an angel

came by this song in cheryl's blog.
heard it and really want to cry.
i remember during church camp
when they were playing this song over and over again
in the dark room lighted by flickering candles
while we were all deep in thought
thinking about the past scars and hurts
and about how much we wanted it all to go away
and then we had the praying over
such that all our tear stained cheeks were dried
though some cried
but it was truly tears of joy.
if you havent heard this song go download it
its really a beautiful that all should enjoy (:

footprints in the sand

oh my my.
those bright orange colours look so pretty in my previous entry.
couldnt resist saying that. (:
so bright and happy.
makes me think back on happier days
when i still had my life
and the most ironic part is
the busier i get
the more i blog.
as in seriously more.
now i blog an average of 2 times a day
last time
the max was once a day?
and most of the times i would blog every 2 days or something.
silly billy. (:

footprints in the sand Tuesday, July 20, 2004

mangoes!! mangoes!! i just ate up the last of the mangoes! /:
after the hundreds of mangoes my tree bore this season
its finally finishing.
not that i dont like it.
pity it doesnt bear fruit all year round!! (:
im dead meat anywayy
so not prepared for physics tomorrow.
waves. sound waves. electromagnetic effects. radioactivity.
i completly have NO idea what they're talking about
zilch!
somehow i dont really seem to care anymore
even though i keep saying i dont want to fail
i dont wanna just scrape pass
i want to do well
but the grades just dont seem to matter anymore
not that im ignorant or anything
or deluding myself
but its just that i've lost my appetite for studying
so its just too bad for me.

footprints in the sand

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

footprints in the sand

everybody knows your name
but they don't know who you are
but to them its just the same
you're just another name

footprints in the sand

i know i deserved it.
but you made me so bloody guilty
that i havent been playing my part
and just turning away what should have been done
but have you ever considered the fact
that i may be freaking busy
that i suck at time management
that i really cant cope.
now after all that you said
i dont have a choice
i cant just leave
and because of all that
i've got another heavy load on my shoulders
dont you think i've already had more than i can carry.
im angry.
but i cant do anything much can i. /:

and you.
i dont believe that you can actually speak of such a thing
you're a coward
i know its all for everyone's best interest
but havent you realised that there are other ways of solving the problem
instead of such a cruel thing to do.
do you know how much they mean to me
i dont think you care
everyone's best interest.
that's what you always say
so what i think is ignored?
its not that im being selfish.
but i can compromise
but you just want to save the hassle
and get rid of trouble as soon as possible
even before they become a threat
i dont understand how you think.

art project submission for prelim marking in 32 days.
32. great.
when im less than halfway through
quoting mr foo : average but slow
when i cant even find the time
yeahh of course everyone can say
that i can just use less of the computer
sleep less hours
and make myself accomplish some work
but does anyone get the fact that i dont work well under stress?
art's not a subject you can force something out off
i need to do it at my own pace
maybe i've been a little lazy
but i do need the break
art's not a break by the way
and thats the only way i can get other things done
maybe art's just not my priority
why would i put something that im not going to do really well in right at the top of the list?
that's stupid.
i need my life back.
whoever's taken it please return it.
today's just not my day.

happy birthday kenneth!

footprints in the sand

oh crap.
after typing the last blog entry
i fell asleep. -.-
so for today i slept a total of 3 hours of nap.
and my main aim in not going for art and coming home early was to study?!
i dreamt that i was doing maths.
logarithm i think.
is that considered revision??
okayy im one major slacker.
my dog's asking me to bring him out for a walk.
but i better not.
have to mugg. tata! (:

footprints in the sand Monday, July 19, 2004

i'm freaking tired.
just woke up from my nap.
-yawns-
but i still feel really really lethargic. /:
cant open my eyes.
i think im falling sick.
bleahhh. crap. i need to sleep.
monday blues!!
i passed my chem test!!! (:
-dances ard in a tea towel-
hehehes. private joke.
yawns.

footprints in the sand

congratulations jan!! (:
hoped that you truly enjoyed your confirmation.
selene is a silly billy goat that walks really fast
i cldnt catch up with her quick steps.
she was taking such BIG strides
and me in my heels trying to keep up. well
bumped into anthea at christ the king
was really funny cos she was there for quite a while
but i didnt notice?
and i was like ehhh. why are you here.
hahas. so cornified. (:
wanted to go back home with ant.
but she wanted to go dinner with her friends?
but turned out that she didnt get dinner.
and met at yio chu kang.
sort of.
i was already on the bus
she just got off the train.
told her to run quickly but she cldnt make it lahh.
so i stopped at the next stop
walked back in my horrid heelies
then waited with her at the bus stop.
wanted our parents to pick us up
but they were at a meeting about the fence.
hahas. (:
but when we got to our stop aunty lisa could pick us up
goodies (:

my stomach hurts!! i think i ate too much veggies. too much being one small claypot sized bowl of veggies? /:

footprints in the sand Sunday, July 18, 2004

dear god.
thank you for loving me. (:

i dont understand how some can remain so neutral
after all the miracles and beautiful things we've witnessed
life's so perfect. the world's beauty takes my breath away
but we humans are the ones that cause the destruction
our ugly human nature damages and maimes the perfection
one day , when we finally learn of the truth
that will be the start of a never-ending beauty.

Cause I want to live like animals
Careless and free like animals
I want to live
I want to run through the jungle
With the wind in my hair and the sand at my feet

footprints in the sand

sing to me of the song of the stars
of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
when you feel like my dreams are so far
sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

only hope

footprints in the sand Saturday, July 17, 2004

happy sweet16 carolyn !!
jepenga minus elf went out yesterday for dinner
to celebrate carolyn's birthday!!!
had ribs at kenny roger's and bought her this cake
but unfortunatetly the bakery person apparently counted wrongly
and gave only 15 candles. /:
we had a great time together
uh huhs. -nods- (:
it's been ages since we've had good old fun.
hahas.
took plenty of pics.
silly billy ones
trying to upload them now.
if i succeed you guys will soon be able to see them (:
edit : the photos are up!! go check them out. (:
oh yarr!! and the waitress at kenny roger's cleared away my corn muffin!!!!!!
my supper!!! oh man.
i was so sad?! ):
i really liked it a lot a lot.
and they took it away.
in perfect condition?

footprints in the sand

The Perfect Guy

ripped this off my sista's blog.(:

1. hair color : ehh. a dark shade. no blondes please. how can anyone like a blonde guy?!
2. eye color : dark
3. height : >170 at least.
4. six pack : doesnt matter
5. long or short hair : spiked. definetly. (:
6. glasses : glasses make people look intellectual! nods. ^.^
7. piercings : nahh.
8. scars : scars can be sexy!! just not like old mad-eye's ones...
9. eyebrows : a guy with no eyebrows? -.-"
10. big butt or little : average i guess
11. chest hair : nope. dont you think its sick?!
12. buff or skinny : ahahas.lean. (:
13. straight teeth; gap; or braces : straight teeth? and braces always looks good!
14. funny or serious : moderate. funny but serious at the right times?
15. party or stay at home : no too party-ish lahh. wont fit into my lifestyle right.
16. should he cook or bake : cooking is the way to a WOMAN'S stomach. (:
17. should he have best friends : if he wants to?
18. should he have a lot of girl friends : agrees with sister.girl space friends.
19. outgoing or shy : outgoing and ahemm shy. (:
20. sarcastic or sincere : sincere.
21. should he love his mother : yeahh. as much as i love my mummmy!! he must love his daddy too alrites. hahas. (:
22. should he watch chick flicks : not really. but im okay if its for the girls.
23. would he be a smoker : no. i hate it when people smoke. /:
24. would he drink : a little. only a little.
25. would he swear : other than mr wong, name me a guy that doesnt swear.
26. would he play with your hair : hahas. alright. its kind of cute? (:
27. one or more girls at a time : the one and only ME
28. would he pay for dates : sometimes?
29. does he kiss on the first date : nahh. be a gentleman.
30. where would he bring you to dinner : anywhere not too crowded and sleazy.
31. would he bring you flowers : not necessary i guess. but i accept a wide range of flowers. from roses to carnations to daisies. (:
32. would he lay under the stars with you : yeahh. that's super sweet?
34. would he call you hunny; sweetie; or baby : baby. (: i like babyy.
35. would he hang out with you and your friends : once in a while.
36. would you hang out with him and his friends : once in a while too..
37. will he walk you to the door at the end : yeah.
38. holding hands : yup. (: im a koala bear and koala bear clings onto people? (:
39. soccer : okay...
40. baseball : nope. its a silly game
41. basketball : i dont mind..
42. football : okay.
43. water polo: in those silly speedos?! no. they look really funny. nice bod though. -drools-
44. surf : surfing is cool!! there isnt anyway to surf in town is there? -.-
45. skateboard : not very appreciated..
46. snowboard : ... snow? -.-
47. sing : hahas. i guess its nice? (:
48. play guitar : anything lahh
49. play piano : not really.
5O. play drums : cool
51. cleans his room : cant he be neat enough to not have to clean?
52. paint; draw; or sculpt : artists rock. (:
53. writes his own music : okay im not complaining
54. uses the word dude : just the word dude reminds me of the silly turtles in finding nemo. (:
55. uses the word tight : noo!! so ewwish.
56. would he watch the sunrise with you : yeahs. fall asleep under the stars and wake up together to the sunrise. (:
57. what kinda car does drive : mr foo's ex mini rocks!! ahahs.
58. how old is he : same. or slightly older.
59. what would his name be : ehhh. (:

footprints in the sand Thursday, July 15, 2004

Without you, where do i belong?
Without you, how can i go on?
And No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?

I feel helpless and, oh, so all alone
Like I've never felt before
You made me feel alive
But I don't remember what it's like anymore

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
And No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?

kimberly locke featuring clay aiken - without you

im drowning in clay and kimberly's great voices.
especially clay's.
so deep.
oh man. -dies- (:
and the song's great.
nat bimbo was the one that told me about this song
and a few other pretty songs. (:
oh yeahh.
happy birthday to caix!
who rocks to the moon and back
she's one great wonderful silly billy thing
and happy sweet 16 to her. (:

footprints in the sand

i don't know why you're so far away
but i know that this much is true
we'll make it through
and i hope you are the one i share my life with
and i wish that you could be the one i die with
and i pray in you're the one i build my home with
i hope i love you all my life

if you're not the one

footprints in the sand Wednesday, July 14, 2004

numb to all emotions

yet another busy and traumatic day
all i remember is dashing in and out of classes
going here.
going there.
and doing stupid experiments in chem
stares.
the acid and alkali made my arms itchy.
i dont think i did so badly for chemistry..
considering that mrs hoo smiled at me. (:
ahahs.
good thing the lit seminar was cancelled.
at least i've got more time
but didnt make a real difference
since i ended up taking a 2 hr long nap
/:
okayy.

footprints in the sand

my dad's asking me to sign up for this course
for teens.
im considering. /:
he went for the adult one.
some enterperneur one.
and he says it was good.
-thinks-
and he wants me and my sister to go together
but its on the 1st of december or something
and a 3 day course.
where they will split you into groups
[which means i wont know anyone]
and the worse part.
it's in chinese.
oh well. -shrugs-

footprints in the sand Sunday, July 11, 2004

hehh. drew this funny little thing.
the nicer copy's in my chemistry textbook
pg 425. the physical properties of alcohol
hahahs. shows how boring alcohol is. (:

dunno why J but it just suited the position the little stique's sitting. (:

footprints in the sand Saturday, July 10, 2004

sacrifices are essential;
even if they pierce you heart
and hollow your soul
somethings just have to be done
for the good of everyone

maybe someday..

footprints in the sand

i got a haircut!!
but i've got to style the fringe
or else i'll look really dorky.
hehehs.
and i really looked quite good when i left the saloon
but the minute i went home to wash it
it all sort of became droopy.
oh well. dorky is cute. (:

footprints in the sand

seven days and seven nights of thunder
the water's rising and I'm slipping under
i think I fell in love with the eighth world wonder

kimberly locke - eighth world wonder

footprints in the sand Thursday, July 08, 2004

okay. i finally made myself go upload the pictures i took.
only a few. but they're the only okay ones. (:
go check it out!!! xp
link's above my taggg

footprints in the sand

oh no. i'm suppose to be studying for my
2 tests tomorrow.
but after sleeping for like 2 hours
and after doing 3 mins of work
i drifted off.
so.. i'm here. /:
oh well. might as well make full use of my time online
-beams- (:
the relative velocity test was really bad
6 people got higher than 10marks in the whole class
and it was over like 37?
hahahs. and so many people got like 2 or 3?
i got 6!!! -big grin- :D
wasnt so great but good try for someone who didnt study right?
im proud of jan* who did really really well.
she passed.
she's one of the 3 in class who passed
im happy for her. (:
okayy. better get back to maths.
urghs./:

footprints in the sand Wednesday, July 07, 2004

without you i’m not okay
and without you
i’ve lost my way
my heart’s stuck
in second place ooh
without you

im beginning to think that my life's a tape
a bloody tape that keeps playing over
and over again..
everything everyday is the same.
waking up to another deja vu kind of day
sucks majorly.
hah.
the infamous sec4 term 3..
i've so no comments.

by the way my new motto for dealing with tests
study as much as you can till you're tired
then go take the test.
so encouraging.
prelim exams are less than a term away
and im not ready for anything..
nothing at all.
failure in school.

anybody else wanna join the strawberry family club?
current members : me and elf.
strawberry family as in looking bright and shinny on the outside
but a rotten core
and with the slightest bit of pressure
strawberry juice oozes out. /:
just the right kind of club
for suicidal kids. (:

footprints in the sand

relative velocity
is a piece of crap.
should be removed from the syllabus.
wastes good brain cells on useless things.
students should be banned from using it.
should be executed.

footprints in the sand Monday, July 05, 2004

suddenly i feel very glad that god gave me friends!!
happy friends
loud friends
crazy friends
shy friends
workaholic friends [ahemm. stares at elfie]
smiley friends
and over everything else, friends that will always be there

all hail my friends!!! (:

footprints in the sand

10 years ago, i...
1. was only six
2. was very innocent
3. still lived in yishun[the date should be correct]
4. had carefree days
5. enjoyed smiling till everyone could see my dimples (:

5 years ago, i...
1. was quiet
2. was trying to fit in
3. hated being myself
4. was a complete brat/idiot
5. loved reading

3 years ago, i...
1. started enjoying life
2. found out the real meaning of life
3. learnt to be true friend
4. was still struggling with my identity
5. passed exams rather effortlessly [i wonder why though..]

2 years ago, i...
1. got to know elf
2. went a little crazy over meteor garden
3. enjoyed harry potter
4. started reading fanfics
5. got really interested in art

a year ago, i...
1. fell hard for harry potter
2. loved being myself
3. was happy. very happy
4. made really great friends
5. enjoyed my school days

this year, i...
1. started knowing what studying was
2. got to know god
3. got into jepen[g]a
4. started paying attention
5. started passing my maths

yesterday, i...
1. had chinese oral
2. had fun talking to friends
3. spend lots of time online
4. got angry at my tutor
5. helped take care of my brother cos he was sick (:

today, i...
1. enjoyed going to church
2. feel happy
3. designed my grad dress
4. studied. or at least tried
5. smiled a lot.

tomorrow i will...
1. live with more zest
2. be happier
3. study for my tests
4. spread my love around
5. enjoy last bits of the weekend. (:

hmms. i think this is a nice reflection. (:

footprints in the sand Sunday, July 04, 2004

yay! i got my confirmation cert!! (:
went back to church today for the ceremony.
really felt like we were going back for class
the arrangement of the chair
the music.. (:
and i signed up for charismatic and youth ministries
not confirmed that i'll go in but just to express interest
i dont mind both.
the sillyfied christine signed for 3!
hahas. but overall the atmosphere felt so different
from normal cat class
it was warmer.. somehow (:
the teachers didnt want to let us go back without eating
so i ate a mouthful of banananana (x
i really like charismatic grp!!(:
and we sang my favourite song

footprints in the sand

There's a hero
If look inside your heart
You Don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So When you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So When you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

(ohhhhhh) Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But Don't let anyone
Tear them away (hey yea)
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time You'll find the way

And the hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So When You feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

mariah carey - hero

listening to this song reminds me of church camp.
we had so much fun.
after all the great sessions
it was the last song we sang together
and we all came together
one big semi-circle
arm in arm
and we sang the song
it was a truly beautiful time
and it was one of the best moments
where everyone really felt like.. a class
-thinks back on fond memories- (:

lord you are my hero

footprints in the sand Friday, July 02, 2004

orals are over!!!! yay. (:
the invigiliators were really nice
kept smiling.
and the passage wasnt so bad.
i think i had some points.
but there were times when i stoned
and didnt know what to say./:
overall i think it was pretty well done.
at least i didnt misunderstand the question or anything
3 cheerrrs. (:

footprints in the sand Thursday, July 01, 2004