insecurities of a starfish

The interview with God

I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
“If you have the time” I said.
God smiled.
“My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”
“What surprises you most about humankind?”
God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money...and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”
God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked...“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”
“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”
“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”
“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”
“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”
“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least.”
“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”
“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”
“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown

footprints in the sand Tuesday, December 28, 2004

jepenga party!!
i would always remember our intellectual conversations in the sauna
and the crap shit ones in the toilet and the yellow jacuzzi pool
the cookie baking -.-
and also the part where we just lounge about and do nothing
not forgetting the surprise cake! (:
bows -

footprints in the sand

new zealand was fun!
plenty of beautiful scenery (:
i simply adore the whole place
with its mountains and sheeps
aka peppermint ice cream with white chocolate chips
and not to forget the mountain lupins!
omg they are simply gorgeous flowers
i brought a few stalks home
but not sure if theyre still alive
there are like all sorts of colours?
ranging from royal purple to pink to yellow (:

day 1
went to airport in the evening
in the cute london cab
with monkey cushions! (:
i love london cabs
and at first
we were really really disappointed in the tour people
cos there was only 2 kids
and at first impression didnt look that friendly
flew 11+ hours to auckland

day 2
took a domestic flight to christchurch from auckland
and we got the first feeling of kiwiland!
so went around citytouring christchurch
one of the larger cities in nz
went to mona vale
this lovely victorian garden sort of
and they had so many rose bushes i was like completly surrounded
and the roses are gorgeous!
like bushes and bushes of
big big roses than you never will see over here
about the size of a fist
and in all imaginable colours (:
there were ducks there!
super cute :D

walked around the town square
there was this cathedral
really quite nice
unfair the only real nice old church we have here is novena church!

went to supermarket
along the way
we were stalked by this group of teenagers with bird whistles
and they followed us all the way to the supermarket
blowing on the whistles
and it was quite funny despite the fact that it was a little creepy
and its definite that they stalked us
cos they were originally sitting at the bus stop

stayed at elms hotel that night
their hotels are like really short?!
this one was only about 3 stories high
from the window in the room you can see flower bushes
and cute little houses
one thing to note.
nz has really beautiful cute little houses
with pretty gardens decorated with flowers
they all look like doll houses
and they are all different!
all with their own style (:

day 3
took the tranz alpine express the train
and stopped at arthur's pass
along the way kept going out into the open cabin
and its really freezing there
cos the temp is already really low
and with the air blowing at you in the open cabin
its like super cold
went pass mountains and valleys
the scenery's really really great (:
but couldnt take that many pics cos my fingers kept frezzing off
after you take one pic you sort of have to hide you fingers in the pocket
for a long while
so we would go out for a few minutes
then rush back into the cabin
and go back out when we were warm enough
cos its just such a pity if you stayed in the cabin
it had big big windows of course
but you just cant feel the beauty?
at arthur's pass there was snow
the mountains were covered with clean white glaring snow (:
breath-taking!!
we didnt stay long though
went to hokitika next
cant remember what it means in maori [native language of nz]
visited a greenstone [a different kind of jade]
and glass blowing factory
pretty interesting (:
the town was super empty though
we were taking photo in the middle of the road -.-
its like the dead towns you see in old cowboy movies!
with one storey shops along the streets (:
got the first taste of nz icecream!
their ice cream is really smooth and super cheap!
their single scoop there looks like at least a double scoop in singapore
and it cost about two bucks!
went to greymouth
another town
stayed at kingsgate hotel
pretty small town
so its once again like a modern cowboy town
shops in nz close at 5 in the evening!!
and it gets dark only at 9++
so theres like nothing to do at night
supermarketed again (:

day 4
went from greymouth to punakaiki
saw the pancake rocks!
they're like limestone rock formation i think
and they seriously look like pancakes (:
saw blowholes too
they are like a hole in the middle of a big rock
erroded away by the waves
so when the waves come in the water actually splashes up
and the blowhole's like really deep
about 3 storeys?
they were so magnificent!
the water's so amazingly clear :D
had ice cream again! (:
back to the bus ride
stopped at murchison for lunch and then finally stopped at nelson
along the way we stopped at the road to take photos
cos the view was so great!
a lake and mountains at the back (:
there are plenty of lakes with mountains
but that one just happened to look really good :D
when we got to nelson
went to this beach
there was gray blackish sand!
brought some back
but have simply no idea where they are now
sunny warm weather finally!
there was another small cathedral in the city again
pretty pretty (:
and the choir singing was so good!
drove to happy valley for dinner
thai food!
with more ice cream :D
theres just this house/restaurant thing in the middle of nowhere
saw sheep being sheared there
and there was this little lamb 10 days old (:
fed the ducks!
there was a yellow duckling
so cute :D
small karen, xiao didi, bro sis and i chased the ducks!
drove to happy valley for dinner
thai food!
with more ice cream :D
theres just this house/restaurant thing in the middle of nowhere
saw sheep being sheared there
and there was this little lamb 10 days old (:
fed the ducks!
there was a yellow duckling
so cute :D
small karen, xiao didi, bro sis and i chased the ducks!drove to happy valley for dinner
thai food!
with more ice cream :D
theres just this house/restaurant thing in the middle of nowhere
saw sheep being sheared there
and there was this little lamb 10 days old (:
fed the ducks!
there was a yellow duckling
so cute :D
small karen, xiao didi, bro sis and i chased the ducks!
drove to happy valley for dinner
thai food!
with more ice cream :D
theres just this house/restaurant thing in the middle of nowhere
saw sheep being sheared there
and there was this little lamb 10 days old (:
fed the ducks!
there was a yellow duckling
so cute :D
small karen, xiao didi, bro sis and i chased the ducks!
just after we drove out abit
we saw this two semi circle rainbows!
side by side
simply beautiful!!!
and its not something u can ever ever see back here (:
stayed at trailways motor inn
the window in the toilet is also in the balcony
so we were saying that other people can see us in the toilet
hees

day 6
went back to happy valley in the morning
had this quart[spelling?] bike thing
its a four wheeled motor bike that can go into the water
and along the mountain terrain
since me sister and xiao didi was underaged
urghs
we had to be passengers
couldnt drive!
so sat on the back of this girl's bike
and she drove me around
along the way saw sheeps!
stopped at this clearing and the people driving the bikes could play around a bit
and my brother got stopped and banned from driving for a while
cos he was speeding and went off the track!
hah.
sat on dad's bike a while
good driver eh. :D
definitely not as strange as sitting on a stranger's bike!
went back to the restaurant place
the horse guy picked small karen, xiao didi, brother, sister and me up
took us to the stables
so matched us up with horses
mine was meco
they pronouced it as mi-kaa though
weird
had to get on a bench to get onto meco
urghs
so we went on the trail
went up the mountain and down and up and down
hehh.
pretty alright
the scenery at the top was lovely though
we stopped and took pictures of us on the horse!
on the way down
my brother's horse. aka the ah beng horse
who kept biting other horses
stopped to eat grass
and cut queue [we were in a straight row]
did something to my horse
and meco panicked and started rushing upwards
and so it happened that i wasnt holding on tight
so i fell off
injured my shoulder
slight twist i think
and bruised my knees
i was totally freaked out
almost rolled down the hill
while i was running away from the horse
stupid meco ):
so it make the whole horse trekking thing unfun
but the guy andrew made me get back on the horse again
he was leading it
but i was pretty freaked out all the same
cos my knees were hurting bad
like vibrating trembling kind of bad
urghs
went back to happy valley for lunch
where the rest of the tour was waiting for us
more icecream! :D
drove to this winery montana
sampled the wines
my mom was pretty sure i would get drunk from sampling -.-
but of course i didnt
the white wine stoneleigh or something was not bad
peter the driver sampled all the wine
and we were all pretty freaked out when we got back in the coach
cos he was like a littly tipsy
and saying funny things
and we were driving on that kind of windy roads!
stopped at kaikoura
which meant food from the sea in maori
had crayfish for dinner
yummy :D
i was about to take the salad dressing
but there was this gigantic fly on the spoon in the dressing
so i moved my hand and tried to shoo it away
but it fell right into the bowl!!
hahahs
and i was telling the waitress
excuse me, a fly fell into the dressing
wahhahas (:
slept at lobster inn motor lodge
mum sis and i got a really big room with a kitchen counter!
nice :D
it had heater in the toilet
so we were hiding in the toilet to get warm
cos the heater in the room was taking so finking long to warm it up
due to the size of the room
our room doors are all glass doors
so after everyone returned to their room
xiao didi came towards our room thinking it was their room i think
and turned back
my sister says that he hit his head
i didnt see that.
hahas.
but it was really funny sight
cos its like a person walk towards you and then suddenly decide that its the wrong person?
oh well
and its the second time he's doing it
cant remember where that happened before
ahhas
silly kid

day 7
drove to ashburton
met our hosts for farmstay
joe and helen whiting
nice couple in their fifites?
they had this beautiful house
the classic english feel house
with like tall bushes on some sides
and then flowers all around the house
the interior was really pretty
living room had this really warm feeling
maybe its cos of the fireplace
and they had a sheep tic tac toe set!
so cute :D
the room's also really comfortable
cos the wallpaper was pretty and then the sheets were flowery
and everything was just so welcoming
from the room theres this giant glass pane
can see out into the garden
the garden is humungous!!
with a swimming pool bird stand thgie
bird cages hut for storing firewood....
and theres a game room! :D
played snooker and darts (:
went to walk over and look at the animals
after that sat on the romantic swing with the sister
hehehs.
the one thats outside our window
and surprisingly we werent cold at all
even though its like ten degrees
and we were just clad in tees and jeans :D
immuned!

day 8
said bye bye to barney [little white dog that pokes her nose into everything!]
she kept jumping and being such a sweet thg
i miss barney ):
and the breakfast rock!
cos for once it wasnt scrambled eggs and bacon
there was an extra dish
the taaa-daaa
fried maggie noodles
hehhehh
it was pretty good really (:
joe drove us back to town
and from there we left to go lake tekapo
it was freezing!
arghs.
but the little cathedral theres really cute
like just sitting beside the lake (:
went to mrs jones orchard
sampled all the fruits and nuts :D
bought golden kiwis [yummmmyy!]
and cherries
went jetboating!!
so exciting
the guy kept pretending to crash the boat into the rocks
thats his job supposedly
and my sister kept screaming cos she was right at the side
stupid girl.
and the guy would do a spin sometimes
and i would crash into other people -.-
while we were nearing the harbour
this guy in a jet ski
purposely did something with it
and we got all drenched!! (:
returned to queenstown
after dinner went shopping around
but nothing much
except that i saw the lotr store
hehehs
-smirks at elf-

day 8
woke up early
left with the coach for milford sound
supposedly the
eighth world wonder
pretty scenery along the way
went pass mirror lake
monkey creek....
and then went in the cruise to see the mountains
its really pretty
just that after so many days
we're so used to good scenery we dont feel anythg

day 9
drove back really really long to christchurch
collected fruits at mrs jones along the way
and also stopped somewhere to sit helicopter ride
went up to the southern alps near mount cook
but cos the clouds were too low
so couldnt go mount cook ):
played with snow for a bit in the mountains
the snow was like above the ankles
so we all got our feet wet
urghs
but it was worth it
cos up there
all u can see is snow
mountains
and more snow (:
finally a white christmas eve!
shopped at dfs in christchurch
bought ice wine [ooh la la]
and honey
i seriously love the ice wine
hehhe
dropped into the cathedral there
they were singing christmas carols
sigh
at that point of time i was terribly missing home
and the church during xmas
but the singing there was bloody brilliant!
along the way home
saw this small car
that was decorated in tinsel and all
and the guys inside were saying merry xmas to everybody on the street
took a picture! (:
after we went back to the hotel
showered
went over to small karen and xiaodidi's room to 'countdown'
and we were all complaining how we wanted to go home
to celebrate xmas

day 10
got up early
left for the airport
and flew back home (:
home sweet home
i was so happy when we touched down!

side note - small karen's 18
and xiao didi's 14
so they aint that tiny (:

footprints in the sand Sunday, December 26, 2004

merry xmas everyone!!
im home (:

footprints in the sand

i'm going to be flying off to nz tonight!
yay!
finally. the long awaited trip (:
flying off at 830 by the way
so anybody[everybody] who wants to say bye
better say it before 830 (:

and im proud to say that ive completed the xmas cards!
finished writing them all
and theyre just sitting on the table
waiting to be sent out

im going to miss my bestie
the computer! ):
hehehh

A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath it's gets better

footprints in the sand Thursday, December 16, 2004

ahem
the below is an ~~argument~~ debate between pam and me
regarding the issue of ron weasely's loyalty in the harry potter series

green is pam
red is me
no the colours are not because of the xmas season
rather its to represent the houses that we most identify with..

it makes u THINK
about the way EVEN ron n herm thinks about harry!
it's a very possible thing!
esp ron!
sighs. i give up on u. ure letting ure biasness for ron take over. its possible. but like 1% possibility?
if he can turn bcos of jealousy... how u noe he won't turn when there's smthing he don't like!
no~
u letting UR love for RON take over!
youre treating harry the way he doesnt want to be treated!
i only hated RON when i saw that side of him!!!!!!!!!!
he doesnt want to be treated like THE BOY.
am not!
and ron and harry having a fight
is normal
just like a fight btw friends!
eg. the one thats currently going on right now!
he wanted to be treated normal n not get turned againts him cos of some stoopid sillynes
that is NOT a fight!
harry din get to say his side!
ron jt turn!
can u give the two of them a break! they're 14!?! and harry didnt help do anythg to patch up the frenship either he TRIED!
n HE dunnoe wad's going on!
harry is not the ctrl of the universe! even though he is the boy who lived
of cos he's not
it is a normal thg to be jealous. esp of your BEST FRIEND
but you cant condemn their frenship just bcos of one occasion!
that's y ron is to stand by him not turn againts him@
ron is a person too ok
he doesnt live to serve the boy who lived!
jiang shan yi gai ben xing nan yi (a leopard never changes its spots)
duh
but no matter wad not turn againt's him..
he's acting lyk a prat
youre being unreasonable!
u are!
ron deserves a chance to live too
just like harry
harry deserves to have friends wno won't turn againts him!
he deserves a chance to speak.... and like i said. his pt in the story is not to serve harry
he didnt turn against him!
he did!!
it was just one occasion but didnt u see they were perfectly fine after that
harry has faults too
OKAY STOP
u mean appeared to be fine
im getting breathless somehow
haha..
me too...

and as the conversation draws to a close.
hem hem
i ask all harry potter fans who have a sense of justice
to give us your viewpts of this particular issues
not hard feelings will be radiated off :D

footprints in the sand

i have just concluded that rudolph
has a very very superficial bunch of reindeer friends!
they only make friends with ruddy
because santa finds him useful
so its only due to fame
that they want to be his friend
rudolph deserves better!
he should know better than to make friends with superficial ~~people~~ reindeers
hrmph
the song's giving little kids the wrong message!
they'll all grow up thinking that
you should only make friends with the famous /:

and i almost forgot.
thanks cherie
for that thing
i really love it
even if it isnt the best pic
but i still love it :D
i love cherie!

footprints in the sand Sunday, December 12, 2004

bbq yesterday was so fun!!
with zhuang and her fat retriever bella :D
thanks to chai grace ah wen and valen who cooked for us
hehhe
and for the first time in my life i toasted marshmellows!!
yummy. :D
i like them gooey with a crispy outside
and im officially in love with sam's special juice
im going to miss 4d
the thought of attending class in a completly different environment
is starting to scare me
im so going to miss st nicks
even though its in ugly colours now
and especially 4d
the people ive grown so used to having around ):

footprints in the sand

my dog's such a brat!!
he ran to the front porch
and we were all trying to get him to the back
just in case he ran away when we open the gate
but that brat wont move no matter what we did?!
we were coaxing him
and practically sweet talking him
but he wont move.
then my dad took a stick and pretended
that he's going to whack lucky
but he still wont move
and just turned away
and pretended that he didnt see!
in the end had to call my mommma
and lure him back
when usually just the sight of her
is good enough to scare him away?!
my fat little bratty dog (:
he's just so cute!

footprints in the sand

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?
Mary did you know..

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping child you're holding is the Great, I Am

so often we forget the true meaning of christmas
its not the food, the partying
nor the meaningless exchange of presents
rather
its the spirit of giving
and sharing
without asking anything in return
the opening of our hearts
to those who are less fortunate
and spreading of joy
to those who have nothing to smile about

footprints in the sand Thursday, December 09, 2004

grad night photos are up!!
go see it !
its in the links page :D

paint your palette blue and grey
look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills
in colors on the snowy linen land

footprints in the sand Sunday, December 05, 2004

im back!!!
camp was fun (:
got to know great people
SHOUT OUT to grp 3 people!!
you guys rock
ehehes.

day 1
started off by playing game
using short halved pipes to transport a golf ball, pingpong ball and marbles
drop and you gotta start all over again
after some talks and sharing
another game
skipping game
everybody had to jump past the skipping rope
continuously with each turn
no breaks in between
spent 3 hours to get about 30 people to cross
we had to walk on 16 feet of red hot charcoal bits that night
800 degrees burning ones?!
looked scary
but wasnt painful
i got a blister though!
-dies-

day 2
a whole series of games-
getting the whole group over a 1m high horizontal rope without touching it
and everbody having to keep a hold on another rope
walking in a obstacle course blindfolded
passing everybody through a spider web
and the most exciting one
this more than 4m high wooden wall was built
had to get everybody up
spent so much time
and everybody was sore by the end of it
the last person had to be taken up
by holding one of the person on top's hand
and letting her feet hang down
then the person at the bottom had to jump
and then get pushed up
grab the leg of the other person
then erm. dragged up (:
watch forrest gump
nice movie. (:
i fell asleep for a while though
it was like 2.5 hours long!
had this blindfolding game at night
was partner B
so i was blindfolded and my partner had to lead me around the resort
with steps and climbing chairs and all
but we couldnt talk.
bleahh.
changed partner halfway
but i didnt even know?!
had another round after that
but this time both partners were blindfolded
so thats everybody
had to risk falling into the pool and everything
after that went back into the room still blindfolded
teacher started tuning the atmosphere
and like said that it was that hand we held onto dearly for our lives
and that it was that hand that guided us
and went on asking us who that hand in our lives had been
the one showing us the way
preventing us from falling and injuring ourselves
and after that about who we would see in the last 3 mins of our lives
what we would do
many cried
cos so many people have taken their parents for granted and all that
and have even been nasty.
after that everyone got a rose
and we exchanged rose with everybody and hugged and said ilu*
yilin pei xuan and cindy talked so long!
on their comfy bed with the mosquito net and the nice bed frame (:

day 3
after breakfast
many people came up to talk
about how they're sorry and all that
for the things they've done and let people done
me and the sister has nothing to say
cos our conscience
or at least MINE is rather clear
if i shld die
i wouldnt regret
cos ive not disappointed my parents
and have returned them the love they showered upon me
:D
another movie after that
about this small boy changing the world
like he starts by doing a life changing good deed for 3 people in shit
and the three other people doing for another three
and you end up with plenty of happy people
something like that
but the boy supposedly got stabbed for his friend
and died
sadly i fell asleep during that part
and missed it totally
after that had group cheer competition!
my group got 2nd!! (:
then at 5+ parents started coming in
many many people went up to talk
and told their parents that they were sorry and that they loved them
and they were all crying on stage
in the whole grp of 10 only me and 3 other people didnt talk
hehh. (:
after photos and hugs
met up with the family
and collected our luggages
i hugged my mommma and daddd
aint i sweet? (:
and the momma was tearing while she hugged my sister
ehhh.
when my sister was crying cos she couldnt bear to leave her friends
hahas
drove drove drove all the way home
my bed feels good
so does the shower (:

yeahh. but it was a fun trip
and i even benefited from it in shopping terms!
me the mother and the sister bought 3 quite nice tops for like 18 bucks sing dollars
ehh.
so like each one only 6
its really a nice feeling to shop and just grab a pretty top off the shelf and discovering
that its only 6 bucks.
:D

footprints in the sand Saturday, December 04, 2004